Fear

I’ve never been one to be left alone,

What is normally locked up inside my head

Can manifest itself in my surroundings.

I promised myself I’d never be like you…

In fact I promised myself that, because

We watched the bottom fall out and you asked

Me to never be like any of you.

I never knew back then, how hard that would be…

I find myself having to fight it on a daily basis,

It becomes difficult to pull my tired bones out of bed,

Because I miss you and what you bring to my life.

I may not always be involved, in all the things you do.

But you being there, your consistent talking, is all so comforting.

I miss you, as I sit here by myself cause I fear the unknown

And I fear that they don’t like me, I fear the rejection

That I face every day.

And now when I sit here cause the company I keep

Has gone to their happiness…

And my heart is sad, not because you’re happy,

But because I’m not.

I wish I had the courage, the courage that

I envy in those that surround me every day.

Yet here I sit, because I am not fearless,

No I am scared still, just like I have always been.