Sleep Writing

Being very far away,

Is harder than I say.

Just keep in your head,

As you lay in a foreign bed,

We will always be here,

Whether you are far or near.

Walk tall, walk proud,

Never fear an oncoming crowd.

You have brains in your head and shoes on your feet,

Remember that this is no easy feat.

And though you feel weary,

I will always send you cheery.

We are not friends, so let that rest,

Being family is better than best.

One day we will gather,

And talk of things that matter.

So for now I say goodbye,

But soon it will be “O Hi”!!

Find

I take a deep breath as I try to calm my racing heart.

I see the sun has dipped below the trees,

And I find myself alone… again.

Every passing car I pray is you.

Every rustling leaf flashes your face in my mind.

As the night grows stronger, I realize you’re not coming.

I wonder,

Why have you not come for me?

I wonder,

Do you not speak my name?

Does your heart not question that emptiness within?

Or does is not feel it at all?

I guess though, this place is not unknown…

It has a familiarity of loneliness to it.

The question is…

Do I sit and wait, for you to come find me…

Like some prince charming?

No, I have my doubts of you being some prince charming…

You slaying dragons or climbing towers,

Does not seem logical to me…

So I guess it will come down to me…

Fighting to find you…?

I remember that feeling… of not feeling

I remember the day when I lost it all.

I remember not feeling,

Yet knowing exactly how it feels when your heart breaks.

I remember that feeling… of not feeling.

I remember hearing those words.

Those words that caused my heart to break.

I remember not being given a choice.

I remember watching my dreams, being ripped from my hands.

I remember my world spinning out of control.

And then I remember the feeling of my heart breaking.

I remembered my heart.

My heart that is strong, resilient, brave, happy, stubborn, grateful…

But mostly full of life.

And because of my heart, I refused to let you take it all.

And because of God’s good grace, he helped me back on my feet.

He gave me a second chance.

And with this second chance, I promise I will not let you down.

I am not perfect.

I am not even great.

I am just ok…

All I can do is be grateful, and work hard.

I will forever know that feeling of not feeling.

I will never forget what it felt like when my heart broke.

I will never forget, because I feel.

Because I refused to let you take my heart away.

I am here because I was given a second chance.

This second chance to share what gives me life,

What moves my soul.

All because I feel.